We are enjoying each other’s company.

I’ve lately been running circles around my girlfriend. Have I ever posted about her? She’s pink and so extremely soft, and my humans introduced us when they got my new condo. She’s sweet. She doesn’t do much around the house, and I have to put her inside my food bowl to get her to eat, but she doesn’t mind when I roll her around the condo. My humans think I do it to put my poop all over her, but that’s just disgusting! What rabbit would do such a thing to his girlfriend?

So anyway, she doesn’t often come out with me when I do my laps and administer order in the humans’ apartment, but today she’s right here next to me. We cuddled for a while as the cleaning crew (Boy Human) went through the condo and straightened up a bit, but then I realized how exciting it would be to show her all my duties at work — first hand!

I did my laps, inspected some new things (there’s a new white box near my corner, more on that later), but eventually I couldn’t contain myself any longer and had to go back to her. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get enough of her; I have to snuggle up really closely and touch all her sides. So I walk around in circles! She seems to like it, she doesn’t complain anyway.

Girl Human noted it quickly so I’m a little weary to do it again so readily. They seem to be taking particular interest in my behaviors lately. Maybe it’s because my birthday’s coming up — I’ll be eight months old! But I guess humans celebrate years, not months. Silly humans. Anyway, I don’t want to have such public displays of affection towards her. I don’t know if they’d want to lecture me about babies or something.

Otherwise, life in the suburbs has been pretty calm. I still hop up onto their laps to lick some things, then run around re-inspecting the apartment in case something went wrong while I was licking their laps. They seem pretty content.

About this giant white box. I don’t know what it is; it wasn’t there last time I came out to do my job. The humans also seem to be enamoured with some other white thing they have hooked up to the TV. I’ll research into this further and try to figure out what’s wrong with them.

Oh wait, I’ve found the real food. Sooo delicious….

Mind if I nibble on your foot a bit while you massage me with this comb?

Is this food?

I know it has been a while since I last updated. My people have put me on a new diet - all greens and oranges for me! They also put me on new pellets which I like a lot more than the last ones, though I really appreciate the fresh foods even more. It was a hard life only eating dried brown things. Even though I only get a few carrots a day, that’s enough to keep me happy.

I meant to come here and write about my visit to the doctor. It was awful and terrifying! I hope they never bring me back - can’t they see that I’m healthy and content with them?

At first I didn’t know where we were going - I thought that they were putting me back in that stupid carrying case again so I could visit that other bunny. I was a little excited, I’ll admit, but only because it meant running around that huge building again. Unfortunately, though, I stayed in the portable home for a very long time while my humans sat in a waiting room chatting up - of all things - dogs. Ugh, they were huge, ugly, and terrifying. I felt for sure that I was going to die in there.

Boy Human kept me well protected, though, until I entered the examination room. Then He just let me go free! What was he thinking? Of course I wanted to stay inside my carrying unit. I was on a huge, tall operating table; it was cold and I was scared so my first instinct was to RUN. I bolted towards the corner of the room while the humans scrambled to capture me, and the doctor had the audacity to tell my humans it was their fault that I was running. Sorry guy, I was already afraid from all that driving and those barking dogs, I wasn’t about to jump comfortingly into his arms, calm as a baby seal.

Girl Human took offense, slightly; I could see it on her face. But Boy Human looked concerned and upset as though he had done everything wrong. If I wasn’t too busy trying to find a place to hide, I would have licked him for comfort.

So then the doctor picked me up and I scratched him, thinking he deserved it. Again, he accused my humans of wrongdoing towards bunnykind because they hadn’t clipped my nails yet. Couldn’t he plainly see that they are new bunny owners and part of the reason for the check up was to get instruction on how to do it? I’m certainly glad they didn’t blindly try to do it on their own! Huff!

Sorry, I don’t mean to get rude or throw out accusations. It surprises me somewhat that I am so protective of them, but they do pamper and feed me daily so I suppose it makes sense.

Anyway, he had a girl come in to hold me still so he could clip my nails. They watched intently to learn… And I think they got the basic gist of it. Phew.

They talked a little bit more about stuff like my diet and exercise and the doctor lectured them on holding me more often (I personally think they hold me too much, so what does this guy know?), then we finally left. It was heavenly leaving that place! If I had come to update about it shortly after the appointment I’m sure this entry would have been longer and full of a lot more excruciating detail. All I can remember now is frustration at the doctor’s rudeness towards my humans and the fear that came that building.

Anyway, they’ve been giving me a lot of boxes lately to chew on, which I definitely appreciate. I also have a thing to play in which I’ll post about next time I have more time. You’d love it! I really do.

I also have a soft thing which they call my “girlfriend,” though I’m not sure what that means. I like to snuggle with it, though, feed it some of my greens, and sometimes I’ll even put it in my litter box in case it has to poop. It’s not easy taking care of things.

Last Wednesday I had what my Humans condescendingly refer to as a “play” date. They put me into this very small housing unit (which was, unsurprisingly, very uncomfortable and stressful for me) and when I came out I was in a different world. It was strangely familiar, as if I’d been there before - some smells were the same as those I couldn’t quite remember. It was an odd feeling that I couldn’t shake - a sort of “deja vu” as they say - until I realized after some exploring that I was back in the bookstore from which they took me home.

It was so exciting! I explored the entire thing, now much smaller than it was when I was a child. Sure, it was still large with long, open spaces to run through, but the things that were once so tall I couldn’t even reach them are now too short and uninteresting to me.

It was soon after I started exploring the entire bookstore that I realized there was another in the area. I say that as if he were an alien, I know, but it was a completely new experience to me. I don’t remember meeting others of my kind in my lifetime, though I’m sure I must have been born of another rabbit, and presumably had numerous brothers and sisters. I was just too young before I was brought to this home. (I’m not going to go all activist on you; I love this place, even if at times I feel a bit small in my cage and wish I could get into things that my Humans won’t allow.)

In any case, this was a young rabbit, probably just a month younger than I am now but still very small. He said his name was Buttons and he didn’t seem to understand at first that I was clearly the dominant rabbit in the room. A smaller Girl Human followed him around and seemed surprised when I removed a tuft of Buttons’ fur. Humans amaze me; they don’t have proper dominance rituals. All of them are afraid of everything, even creatures smaller than them; this Buttons character couldn’t have hurt her if he tried and yet she shrank away from him with small (frightening) shrieks whenever he did anything unexpected.

Once we got over all that and I proved I could totally beat him up if he provoked me, we got along pretty well. He wasn’t really into exploring the store; he was much more into getting to know my Humans and exploring the tiny housing unit that they carried me in. When I discovered that he had done this, I was pretty upset and frantically spent the next twenty minutes reclaiming everything that was mine, in addition to claiming everything that was his just to show him that I was still the dominant bunny; it was just a reminder, I suppose, that I earned my stature and I could do it again if necessary.

I had to show him a few times who was boss. I attributed this to his age; he clearly had no idea what was going on and continually challenged me. We would be fine for a while. I chinned my water bowl - which by the way was a new experience for me, and I loved bending over my fluids rather than suckling them out from the strange bottle that hangs from my cage - so he knew it was mine, but he still came over sniffing, perhaps hoping for a sip or two. He’d consantly go back to my tiny house thing and crawl inside, outside, on top, and I had to keep reclaiming it hoping he’d get the idea. Eventually I just roughed him up a bit (again) and tried to tell him that he couldn’t just do whatever he wanted there. Perhaps his humans let him reign free at home, but he needed to adhere to structure and rules while he was around another bunny.

When we came to an understanding, finally, after he was done creating unnecessary conflict, we were able to play nicely. I raced him down the long aisles and let him think he was winning, though I know (and my Humans pointed out) I could have outrun him if I felt like it. I didn’t deem it necessary to be so rude, however. He knew that if it came to survival I’d outrun him in a jiffy, but I gathered that he didn’t get a lot of time running around and playing with his humans. It is important for a bunny to have social time and an area to run around, hop, jump and play. My humans give me ample time, no matter how much I might complain to them, but this bunny was too afraid to even leave his cage at first. I needed to show him it was okay to go exploring when the opportunity presents itself.

So we ran around the bookstore; I even gave him a little bit of a tour. He really liked the children’s section more than any of the others, however, and spent most of his time there. Evetually, sadly, it was time to go, and I’ll miss that confident (but innocent) little bugger. It has made me generally more aware of the existence of other bunnies, so here I sit almost a week later wondering where they all are. I’m not lonely, but it certainly was refreshing to be able to play with another of my kind rather than these huge clumsy humans who are prone to tripping over me when I try to run with them.

Of course I love my people, but I’ve taken much of the last week looking out the window (which they leave open for me now during the day while they’re gone) hoping to catch a glimpse of another furball. Even if he’s younger than me, like Buttons was, it’d be nice to connect. Surely there can’t be just two bunnies left in this world, can there? My humans are always popping in and out of message boards and websites helping them with bunny things so they can better understand me and keep me happy. I just hope some day they’ll think about bringing another bunny home with them. (Not Buttons, though. I would need somebunny much smarter than that.)

Buttons, my Humans’ boss’ bunny (the same boss that inexplicably gave me up - and for this?). In this photo, he’s eyeing my water. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

In the living room, there’s a big green chair which my Girl Human likes to sit on while I’m out of the cage. Sometimes she lets me sit on her legs, but she never lets me climb over her computer and give my input in her emails and message boards, and she never lets me climb up onto the arms of the chair.

Just the same, Boy Human used to let me on the couch until I started exploring over the edge. These two pieces of furniture are next to each other; behind the chair is a big empty space which I’ve never had the opportunity to explore. Obviously there’s something very exciting over there which the humans want to keep secret from me!

So it’s been my quest to find a way to the other side of the chair. They don’t let me on the couch anymore, but I think that’s more because I tend to get really excited about my proximity to the mysterious Behind The Chair and poop everywhere. I’ve lately been scurrying underneath the chair. At first I just laid down and basked in my dark hole, content enough that I had a little corner to get away and hide in. Then it dawned on me that I could probably burrow through the walls of the Underneath to get to the Back!

It was a very exciting discovery, so I tried. Every time they allowed me out of the cage, I’d run straight to my place Underneath and made more progress digging. I couldn’t let them think I was plotting anything, so I’d only spend about fifteen minutes of my time down there. (Afterwards, I’d continue my regular routine.)

At last! I’d found a way through. Unfortunately I can’t take the credit; I didn’t dig an opening. It was already there, but I hadn’t noticed it before. It wasn’t big enough, though, so I spent the next few days trying to stretch it out a bit. Seemed to be a piece of fabric loosely attached to the wood that holds the chair up. It didn’t seem too difficult…

…Until I went back down there and found that it had been taped shut. Curses!

I spent the whole time out trying to fix it. They tried to lure me with something orange, but it was too sweet for me. I didn’t like it at all. (I do like that leafy green stuff they used to give me, though.)

Today, though, today’s the kicker. Today I know that it’s not by accident that my opening was taped shut, inaccessible, after all my hard work. Today there is a large piece of cardboard in the way, and I can’t even get to the Underneath! I tried tearing it up, thinking perhaps my humans had implemented an obstacle course for me (knowing how much I like those), but no - it’s impenetrable. They did this on purpose!

I was upset with them for a short while, pretty huffy at that, but I suppose that it must be either a today-only thing, or they really don’t want me back there. Maybe that’s where they keep my green leafy things, though. Going to try again tomorrow.

I believe I’ve figured out the proper relations with my humans.

Boy Human likes to play a lot. Sometimes I get tired of running around the house, but I fear that he’ll get restless if I don’t keep up the games. He runs back and forth between the hallway and the kitchen and I follow; sometimes he even kicks me around a bit (which I’m sure is an accident, as he doesn’t realize I’m so much faster than him and thus can catch up within seconds). I humor him. He also plays Hide and Seek with me; he’ll get down on all fours (which is clearly an unnatural position for his species as he looks incredibly uncomfortable using his knees for support, even I don’t use the middle of my legs for support!) and crawl into the kitchen, then peek his head out to see if I’m following. Don’t tell my humans, but I actually think it’s a lot of fun.

Girl Human, however, is much more calm around me. She’ll occassionally play games, but generally she sits in the middle of the living room and lets me run around in circles, lick her feet, sit in her lap, or go off on my own business. We share a lot of time together laying down on the floor thinking about life (I presume those are her thoughts, for that is what I am doing), and sometimes she’ll occupy herself with one of those yummy paper-bound things. They don’t like me to eat those, but they get excited when I am contented to be near them on the shelves. Humans are so weird!

Thus I’ve determined that Boy Human is my playmate and Girl Human is my rest mate. We all get a long much better with these roles defined. For a while Girl Human may have felt odd, as it wasn’t in her personality to jump around with me, chasing me through the house and putting on a show. I think she comes closer to appreciating my intellect, though I’m not in a position yet to reveal just how smart I am. For now, I’d like for them to think I’m just a rabbit with rabbity behaviors.

I mean, it’s not like I’m planning for world domination, but they couldn’t possibly feel good about keeping me in a cage once they realize that I’m smarter than them.

PS - Forgot to mention, since the last time I posted a blog, Girl Human has introduced spinach leaves to me. THEY ARE DELICIOUS, even better than my pellets! They’ve also significantly upgraded my housing unit; I’m grateful. I’ll post a picture some time soon.